Tales from the Dork Side: Loud Valley

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And now I will actually write a game review about a game that has just been released. Remember this one, kids, it probably won't happen again.Well, maybe when FFX-2 comes out.

You may have heard about the Silent Hill game series. If you haven't, you should. The series started on the original Playstation console with a game that was a change from the existing monsters-crashing-through-windows variety of the survival horror genre we'd seen in games like Resident Evil and Dino Crisis (actually, I don't know if Dino Crisis counts as survival horror, but I had to think of something other than Resident Evil). It was different from those games because your hero was not a trained individual, not a special operative, but rather just a normal guy in the wrong place. This lead to having a character who could hold and fire a gun, but might not be able to properly aim it, and would get winded after running a long way.

But the real draw of Silent Hill was not having to stop to catch your breath, it was having to stop the game to catch your breath. The game had some of the most terrifying settings, graphics, sound, and events that had ever graced the console. It actually made me need to sleep with the light on.

Because of this standard of freak-out excellence, the release of a Silent Hill game series on the PS2 was awaited with excitement, and had success with Silent Hill 2 (which is a whole different column). A successful sequel begets another sequel, and Silent Hill 3 was released.

This game is both a delight and a disappointment. You play as Heather, a standard teenage girl lost in a world of horror. Heather is a refreshing change from the protagonists of the previous two games, Harry and James, who were middle aged men and, to put it lightly, total tools. (One of Silent Hill 2's five endings features James killing himself. That's my favorite one.) She's a girl you can't help but like, who has a good attitude about the freaky things around her. (For instance, she reacts to a closed locker with blood pouring out of the bottom with "I don't think I need to open that one." Quite different from her predecessors.)

The game has not wimped out when it comes to terror; it has, in fact, surpassed the levels of sheer freaky freak freak-out stuff in the first two games. The magic of technology allows for new graphical jiggery pokery to make you cry, such as blood that oozes and crawls along the walls itself, and backgrounds jittering and going out of focus while Heather stays perfectly solid. The ambient sound effects add to the overall atmosphere of fear (hah! oh, what, it rhymed). There is nothing that makes me whimper like a little girl like walking down an empty hall and suddenly hearing a child crying from nowhere. The music, as in the first two games, is darkly beautiful -- and conveniently enough, a soundtrack is included with the game.

Now, sadly, we have to get to where the game falls short. To begin with, the gameplay had some very frustrating aspects. I am not one to complain about Heather not being able to aim at times, because even though she is a teenage girl, she is no Raiden. My frustration came with the fact that there are death-trap times; you die instantly, no chance to escape. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have been wandering around on the subway tracks, but when the station is filled with evil mummified dogs with split heads, you don't expect a train to come! At least, I don't.

My largest complaint and disappointment with the game comes with the plot. Silent Hill 1 had a plot about occult nonsense that made little sense. Silent Hill 2 had a beautifully subtle and psychologically terrifying plot that still gives me chills when I think about it. Silent Hill 3 has a plot about occult nonsense that makes sense, but is really neither interesting nor frightening. The storyline is directly connected to the first game, which means that it is full of cults and reborn demon gods and women in dark dresses proclaiming about prophecies in bad accents. Not what I want in my cutscenes.

The combination of this poor plotline and the fact that creep-outs andcat scares are only really frightening the first time through greatly decreases the replay value. The game has two endings (and one gag ending), and I don't really see myself playing beyond enough to see all of those. Unlocking new costumes and weapons is not enough of a draw for me.

So, in conclusion, if you want a game that will make you turn on all the lights in the house, go for Silent Hill 3. If you want a game that will make you turn on all the lights in the house and that has a good storyline, get Silent Hill 2. And if you are afraid of monsters... well, I wouldn't look behind you right now. Trust me.

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