I just want you all to know that you're lucky you're getting a column this week, since Tuesday I started work at PCM Online, and my schedule has been very busy with serious work. Okay, I lie, my first day was spent reading magazines, my second day was spent messing around online, but both of those were under direct order from my boss! They had nothing else for me to do. But I'm working today. Well, not right now. But I was working all morning! Look at the Product Bullitin section of pcmag.com on Monday, and you'll see my hard work! ...what, shut up, I'm proud.
But, I suppose I should write about something that isn't my job; it'll be a few weeks before I have enough material to get 500-750 words about being paid to be a geek. And I suppose I could write about something comic or manga related, and thus have some sort of connection to the rest of the site at all. But no, you know me, I'm going to write about video games.
As you may or may not know, I'm a girl. I have, in fact, been one all my life. Now, in certain circles, this status leads to some in the gaming community being impressed with you. Or, at least, it did when I was a kid. See, ten years ago or so, most of the gaming market was made up of males, so my presence in a gaming store would be greeted with interest and/or suspicion. Suspintrest, you could call it. I remember making great friends with some Babbage's clerks when I was twelve or so because they were impressed that a young girl had such an interest in gaming.
I'm still in this mindset today. When I walk into a GameStop or an EB, I expect the clerks and other patrons to go "ooooh, OMG g1rl". But they don't, and somewhere in my heart, I'm disappointed. You see, female gamers have increased in numbers in the past ten years; a recent study revealed that women made up 25% of the total gaming populace, which may not sound like a lot, but trust me, it is. Their numbers outnumber the most lucrative male demographics.
While this is good, yay, girl power, and all that, it's given me a problem. Now I have girl game shame. When I go in to a game store, I always want to grab a clerk and say, "Hey! What'd you think of Metal Gear Solid Substance (review forthcoming, honest)? Don't the Resident Evil Gamecube remakes make you hard? Where are you going?" Because I don't want them to think that I play girl games, that I'm just coming in for the latest in RPGs or Sim games. I want the GameStop clerks to think I'm cool, and that says something about me.
There was a time about a year ago when I did purchase a girl game, the PS2 Harvest Moon: Save the Homeland (which, if you're wondering, sucks. Not nearly enough emphasis on the farming. If I buy a farming game, I expect to have some farming! But that's another article). I approached this like a teenage boy buying his first set of condoms. I hid the farming sim between a stack of blank CDs and a cheap copy of Earthworm Jim 3D. Still, though, I thought I could sense the clerk thinking, "Yes. This woman in front of me, she is a girl."
No. No, I can play Metal Gear Solid 2 on Hard Mode without radar. Don't let my breasts and occasional need for simulated farming action fool you! I am as testosterone driven in my pursuits as you. VALIDATE MY EXISTENCE, GAMESTOP CLERK.
But they never do. They never do.
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