I'm the bomb. The end-all, be-all. The bee's knees. The cat's meow. I'm all that and more. That's how cool I am.
How can I prove it? I, Guy Ryder, get the most hits of all the articles at Sequential Arts. I surprass Whitney and Stephen combined. My articles alone have tripled the amount of traffic this website has gotten.
Why? Because I know what the people want. They want violent comics. They want naughty comics. They want dirty, sexy, real things. Just type in the phrase "naughty comics" in Google. Go ahead. Do it. See what comes up. Me. I'm in the top ten of hottest things in terms of those naughty comics. Which makes me an expert, I guess. So of course, I'm the one people will turn to. They'll say, "Guy! Please! Tell us more about naughty comics!" And it's my job to keep the people informed.
A strange niche? Perhaps. A popular one? Without a doubt.
It's all about the buzz words and catch phrases. You see, we're not just in the comic industry or the animation industry, we're in marketing. What are we selling? Ourselves. We're pimping ourselves out to the people. Trying to get them to realize that we are the best thing since Quest for Glory which was the best thing since sliced bread. So you gotta know what will get people into the site.
A passerby might not notice "comic with adult material" but type in "naughty comic" and it will grab any Joe Passerby by the lapel and scream at him, "Hey! Read this!" After all, sex sells. And sexy ladies sell. So why not emphasize it, eh?
Sure, Stephen and Whitney have accused me of stuffing the ballot, so to speak. Of tricking people into visiting the site by simple use of buzz words like "sex" or "cheerleaders" or "animal sex" let alone my use of the word "naughty comics." I think they're just jealous that they aren't the ones bringing in the people.
Well, enough of this. Next week: a secret from behind the scenes of Sequential Arts!
On a mission from God,
Guy Ryder
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